Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Homeward Bound

I have been reading a book titled "Velvet Elvis: Repainting the Christian Faith" by Rob Bell. The book was written to challenge the faith of a Christian. I am enjoying the book, not because I agree with everything written, but because I disagree with some things and can see the Lord doing a beautiful work in my life. One passage, that I fell in love with was, "Being a Christian is not cutting yourself off from real life; it is entering into it more fully."

What a powerful and beautiful passage. I have struggled with this. Asking myself many times, "How do you live in this world, but not of it? Who should you surround yourself with, the found or the lost? How do you balance out this part of life?"

It seems that with all of these questions the Lord has guided me to the place where He wants me and I am so thankful I am here.

Dewight, the man I met in San Antonio, talked to me about living amongst the lost, and how so easily we Followers seem to be better than everyone else. Rather, I need to learn to love, to love like Christ. To weep for those who are Lost, to reach out and care for them like Christ would.

This past month has been an amazing time for Christ to reveal to me areas in my life that need a direct change. Thankfully, He is doing the changing, not me.

I ask any of you who read this post to pray for me. As my Senior year begins I am questioning what is next in my life. I am tired of wasting it, chasing the American dream. Thankfully, I have a Father that will not let me settle.

I say all of this to not only remind myself, but to also remind you. To remind you that your Father is searching for your heart. Are you looking for Him?

Our Father, who art in Heaven, Hallowed Be Thy Name!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Home away from Home

What a beautiful Sunday morning here in Indianapolis. How it feels so good to be back in the cooler yet more comfortable weather. I really enjoyed my time in San Antonio. The men I traveled with were true gentlemen as they provided and wanted me to experience the city. I am truly grateful for their kindness.

So basically I was there on a business trip for a huge choral music convention. So during the day I would stand in a booth and assist people as they looked through our music and purchased. It was the weirdest and most awkward thing however. Being at the convention, I have never been checked out or looked up and down more in my life, BY MEN! I had this desire to wear a billboard that stated, "Not interested in Men." Then on the trip home, again I was seated to a few men who seemed very interested in the same sex. And finally, at church this morning, again men who seemed interested in the same sex sat next to me. I was so confused. The whole time, trying to figure out what my Father was telling me. In the end, I believe He was telling me that they need to be loved too. I work with men who are not interested in women, and since the beginning I have been made fun of or joked to about what they make me do. Of course, it goes in one ear and out the other. I believe my Father has laid upon my heart to reach out to them, love them like any brother would do, so that He may have an opportunity to show His love and mercy. However, right now, I would not mind to sit next to a girl, haha, one girl in particular...

Also, again, on Friday night as I was at dinner, I received a phone call, to which I was caught dead in my tracks, however, because my phone could not keep a charge I could not carry on the conversation and became very nervous. That phone call changed the rest of my weekend. I lay awake worrying and then realizing I was worrying and asking for strength. Wanting, so easily to turn to someone who I know would care for me, but knowing that would only bring me back to the beginning. I trusted myself in Him then. The consequences have not been revealed, but I am thankful that the Lord provided me the strength, that He reached out and filled that humanly spot of love.

This summer is not over yet, but like every other summer, it has surprised me in every way. Sure, I have been brought to my knees more than usual, but there have also been the highs and I thank Him for all of them, the good and bad.

Where next Lord, I am seeking and you are guiding. Lead me!